this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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