you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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