Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
