dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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