there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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