just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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