But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
