Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
