hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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