so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
you never un-have a 4some
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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