the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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