1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
