Too much gin, very little bucket
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
