Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
