That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
