I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
should my penis look like a turkey
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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