The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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