Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
