Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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