All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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