whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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