think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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