I just made out with a guy for $7.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
