I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's shark week go big or go home
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
