I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize