My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
