If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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