Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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