I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
