Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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