So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
