id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So vagazzling was a success
how drunk are you?
Several
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
