just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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