the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My vagina is officially offended.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
