before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
wow bdsm is so cute
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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