Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
