what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
