im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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