At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
