I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
