I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
