What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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