If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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