they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Randomize
