what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
