Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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