he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize