tell your sister to shave her snatch
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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