another moral hangover. fuck.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
