he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
