And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
