He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
