Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
