in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
