ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
