so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you will always have a special place in my vag
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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