I cannot find my penis.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
