I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
