I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
