plz talk dirty to me
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
